I want SPACE…a space to feel, to express, to be accepted and embraced. I want to be TRUE in expressing my feelings. I want to be able to stay in a moment with my emotions and sensations. When I feel ashamed I want to be able to stay with the feeling, to watch temperature of my body raising, chicks burning. I want to feel anger and express it, clench fists, speak it out. Not throwing it to others, but simply letting the feeling out into accepting space. I want to be fully present when feeling sadness and grief, I want to let my tears to run, let my body shake, sentences to be broken from overwhelming emotions. I want NOT to be afraid of this all happening to me in front of others. I want to be brave to share my pain, anger, shame, joy, peace, love. I want to be true in sharing my wounds, my obsessions, my envy.
I know these all is not real me! The emotions, feelings are coming and going like clouds in the pure blue sky. I am letting them to be there as a sky allows anything to pass it.
I want to have no more secrets! I want to be free.
And what do I need for that?
I want to have other people’s presence when I am experiencing emotional turbulence.
What do we miss when it comes to expressing our emotions? I often missed presence of others. I was seldom given a space to simply be myself, but I was often given an advice or encouragement. Did I really need it? No, not really. Once I was given a space, a presence, I was able to fully feel and express, I felt accepted and loved. I didn’t need to know what they think about the situation or how to improve it. And do you know why? Because I was given so much more, I felt love and everything just becomes clear after this.
Because the situation doesn’t need to be repaired, it is just a reflection of what is inside me. But I need a space to express these wounds and emotions, so I can be empty of them. In order to create a space in me for a change, a transformation occurred.
And the essential for this process is TRUST. Expressing myself can be difficult and impossible without trusting people around me. I am trusting if I see a silent presence and acceptance in your eyes. I feel the connection which comes from the heart. I see a reflection of myself in you, my pain is your pain, my joy is your joy. I feel this oneness and inseparability.